A Poopable journey to a Poopable city (or town)

I recently booked an Airbnb to a two-bedroom house in La Moille, a small town in central Illinois a little more than two hours from Chicago. It was just me and my poopable pup, Jean-Dog Van Barkke (he goes by “JD”) making the trek.

Now, if you haven’t heard of La Moille, that’s not a shocker. It’s a small town, with a population of about 700 as of the last time they updated their sign. In a single 1-mile stroll down main street, you can see the entirety of La Moille, from it’s one bar, it’s one maybe-a-restaurant-but-it-isn’t-open to its four churches and single gas station. There’s also an antique shop who always keeps the lights on but is never open.

As a city-boy, it definitely is a different, and welcome, change of pace.

Now, the town itself has some interesting quirks for sure. A lot of houses have elaborate holiday lighting this time of year, and there are a lot of American flags. We at Poopable are always happy to see polite displays of patriotism, even in the most simple public offerings.

One benefit of this town is that it is just 30 minutes from the gorgeous and hikeable Starved Rock (in fact, our Chief Poopable Officer, Neil, was out there at the same time, and we got to take in the sights together). But I need to talk about this location’s…interestingly poopable bathroom.

Now, when I told people I was going to central Illinois for four days a week before Christmas, many asked…um, why? Through a combination of unexpected extra vacation time at work, and just a desire to spend some time away from the hustle and bustle of city living (while not having to drive too far, and not having to pay for my dog to stay somewhere else) I decided to make this trip out here. And I was not disappointed.

The house has two bedrooms also SO many stories just lingering around. And carpeting…everywhere. It’s like someone bought a house made in 1971 and decorated it with family pictures and Etsy.

JD says hi!

I’m not mad about it! But I definitely would have made…different choices. For example, the choice of family names.

The photo quality is lacking, so I’ll give you the names up until “Faith” in the second to bottom row, who has one of the last sane names before this family has descended into madness.

We have Gladys, Deb, Bill, Jim, Dave, Mary Anne, Eric, Brad, April, Monica, Nate, Natalee (this is where I suspect their…unique spelling tradition began), Andy, Aaron, Ashley, Austin, Ethan and Faith.

Then. It gets WILD.

Myka. Eeein (!?!?!?). Jarik (!). Izzaq (!!). Zachary. Zavery (WHAT?). Grace (dodged a bullet). Rozzlun. This is insanity. I was sincerely asked if I was in a Mormon household in Idaho. That’s not an unfair question.

But how was the bathroom?

So I mentioned carpeting…

That applies to the bathroom as well.

Oh, oh dear.

Most faithful readers have their own stories of when a rapid clean-up is needed in a bathroom situation. Be it tile, linoleum, or any non-porous material, you can handle any spills or misses. But in general, it’s just never a great idea to carpet in front of your throne.

This bathroom also was surprisingly narrow in it’s size, and didn’t have much bathing options – in fact, I was told to use the shower in the basement, which had nothing but a shower and single mirror, to bathe myself. The bath tub here is mostly for show, but its carpeted toilet was meant to be your throne.

How did Jammin’ Jeff enjoy his time in Le Moille, Illinois?

Listen, the carpeting in the bathroom, where leaks and sneaks can linger, were…iffy. But all-in-all, I had a great time. I spent time in an area I had never been, my dog got to walk a LOT (a LOT – meeting up with Neil, we walked about 5 miles with JD) and even though the carpeting choice was…suspect, they did at least give me plenty of lotions and treats to make my stay as poopable as possible.

At the end of the day, I say keep an open mind. You’ll not always find what you want to find, but if you can find a place you can stay in for four days with just you and a dog (and a guitar) well, I think you can look over things like a carpeted bathroom (so long as you are careful while using it).

(Oh, and if you want to see what it’s like in there, here’s a song I made up right before I had to leave, recording in the back yard with a neighborhood dog barking).

By Jeff G

In other organizations Jeff would be known as the Managing Editor. However at Poopable, he is the Head Creative Poo (HCP). His online writing has received hundreds of millions of views. Thankfully he has not had nearly as many bathroom breaks. Jeff prefers his bathroom clean and tranquil, which is ironic considering the amount of time he spends in dive bars.