Show your friends you care with the right TP
When I moved into the first home I wasn’t renting, one I owned, I wanted to have people come over. And I wanted to impress them. One of the first people to use the bathroom of my condo was our Poo Poo Presidente, Neil.
The local Mariano’s (a grocery store chain the Chicago area) had a special on Quilted Northern toilet paper, so after I moved in, I decided to take advantage on the discount. Quilted Northern has a variety of options, and most are at the same (or at least similar) price point.
I randomly decided on the Ultra Plush, Premium Comfort rolls based on its purple color choice.
When Neil finally came over, after watching a few episodes of the hit FX show, Dave, and grabbing some take-out, he needed to use the facilities at my new home.
I held my breath. I didn’t want to be the kind of household known for using Scott’s and leaving my guests itchy and unsatisfied. I wanted my home to be Poopable.
Dave was on pause. I cautiously sipped my drink in anticipation. Neil came out and confirmed my personal review of Quilted Northern.
“Look at you!” Neil says. “Splurging for that good paper!”
It confirmed what I thought. While not inexpensive, it’s definitely not the most expensive option on the market. You’re paying maybe 20 cents more per-roll than the cheapest options, but that cost is worth it considering how long the rolls last and how comfortable it is.
While you can get it in 6, 12 and 16 and 18 packs, their selling point is that it offers premium comfort, and has “mega” rolls where you’ll get three-times as much use out of it as opposed to regular toilet paper.
This is obviously arbitrary. Most of us use the same amount of TP for each wipe out of pure habit, so this claim is a marketing gimmick meant to make Quilted Northern look like it is worth it’s borderline-premium price.
You won’t find 48 rolls of use from 12 rolls of Quilted Northern, but that’s not why you’re paying that handful of extra dollars for the pack. It’s worth it because of it’s comfort.
The multi-plied quilted paper is soft and resilient. I cleans without chaffing, and is soft and comfortable, and you can be confident that it will not tear in your hands at the worst possible moment.
Locally for this reviewer, it cost $13.99 for a 12-pack, though that might be different elsewhere. Considering that a roll tends to last a little over a week for a household of one with a regular bathroom schedule, it’s not a huge expense, though larger families might run through that pack in a week, depending on their diet.
Even if you use it fast, you can justify the cost
Quilted Northern offers a sublime bathroom experience. Spending a few extra dollars a week to make sure your bathroom leaves you clean and comfortable is definitely worth the cost in Poopable’s humble opinion.
And maybe, if you opt with this toilet paper option, you too can find yourself complimented by your friends once they have to use your throne.
Neil