red train shaped like a toilet

This intrepid reviewer is trying to add a taste of Europe to our Poopability, so I went all the way to the Czech Republic to see how Poopable the nation of 10 million might be.

After a trip to Prague (which you can read about here), I headed out to Kroměříž, a town of about 28,000 people roughly 350 kilometers from Prague, for a wedding.

two smiling men holding beers in a beer hall

It was a festive occasion following a small but fun-packed bachelor party the day before, but to get from Prague to Kroměříž required a three hour train ride to the town of Hulin, just a 5 minute drive away from the wedding venue.

The groom and I took a train operated by České Dráhy, one of, if not the, main trainline operators in the nation. They allow you to bring food and drink (and even alcohol) but they periodically bring a “mini-bar” where you can get sandwiches, snacks, sodas, and even beer.

There are two types of seating you can order. First-class has sealed off sections that seat four, while the other areas have groups of six seats, with three facing the other three.

Our trip took three hours, and no one who started with us stayed that whole route. At times, it was just the two of us. At other times, all seats were taken, and a group of Czech teenagers would stand in the aisle (it seems that a lot of students decided to go to a waterpark that was on our route to escape the 87 degree weather).

a group of young people on a crowded train

After drinking a few canned cocktails the urge to let that liquid finish its course, not surprisingly, arrived. So shortly before arriving to our station, I checked out what kind of commode I could expect to take care of business.

Oh boy.

Yikes. They are sticking to the bare minimum here. Which honestly is understandable – trains need to maximize the number of passengers they can seat, and a large bathroom would be unwieldly and, frankly, unnecessary.

This train bathroom gives you what you need. There is a sink. A sturdy, mostly clean toilet. There even is backup toilet paper in case of emergency.

But there’s one problem.

The “automatic” door? Is not automatic.

I pressed the close door button. It stuttered and sputtered before leaving an open slit of about six inches that could let anyone peek in to me doing my business. The only way I could close it was to hold the close button down for a long period of time.

And once I was done, the stuttering and sputtering continued as I for a moment wondered…oh God…am I going to miss my stop and be stuck in the Czech Republic in this train’s bathroom?

Thankfully, I survived my harrowing experience.

Is a Train from Prague to Hulin Poopable?

We at Poopable think it is fair to say that ANY train bathroom should only be used in emergencies. And the fact that you could get trapped makes this bathroom decidedly NOT Poopable.

Have any stories about train bathroom dilemmas you’ve encountered? Share them with us, and you might see another review right here on the site!

By Jeff G

In other organizations Jeff would be known as the Managing Editor. However at Poopable, he is the Head Creative Poo (HCP). His online writing has received hundreds of millions of views. Thankfully he has not had nearly as many bathroom breaks. Jeff prefers his bathroom clean and tranquil, which is ironic considering the amount of time he spends in dive bars.