man being arrested

Only a toilet named “America” can be made of gold and worth $6-million…

“Four people have been charged after a fully functional solid gold toilet worth nearly $6 million was stolen from Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of former Prime Minister Winston Churchill,” according to CBS News.

The 18-karat toilet on display at Churchill’s birthplace was burgled in 2019 after only being on display for a short period of time.

Better Late than Never!

Thames Police finally were able to capture the bathroom thieving scoundrels after years of grabbing at the proverbial empty roll.

“James Sheen, 39, has been charged with one count of burglary, one count of conspiracy to transfer criminal property and one count of transferring criminal property. Michael Jones, 38, has been charged with one count of burglary. Fred Doe, 35, and Bora Guccuk, 39, have both been charged with one count of conspiracy to transfer criminal property.”

Golden toilet
Literally named… “America.”

News of these events was a real seat-slammer of an event for the staff at Poopable. First, a $6 million, gold toilet open to the public for not only viewing purposes but also – visitors were allowed to reserve a three-minute appointment to put the golden throne to some well-deserved use.

The toilet was previously a popular feature when it was displayed at the Guggenheim in New York City. Our staff, without any doubt believe this toilet was a pure joy to grace.

Sure, unloading one’s bowels into “America” may appear to be anti-patriotic, however, our staff believes there is nothing more liberty and freedom free than relaxing on a golden-throne.

It’s a shame, our esteemed Poo Guru, Brady never had the chance to ponder the wonderings of the world on this gold-plated toilet, fit for a true and honorable king pooper.

The News of the Arrests Come with a Catch

Despite the work of the UK boys in blue, the toilet remains to be found. Cue communal sigh of sadness.

As we have all seen in popular heist movies, the blackmarket for high-value stolen pieces of art is still very much a constant. While it may seem difficult to comprehend, fencing items like a $6 million dollar toilet still remain possible throughout international criminal networks.

Not that our staff has ever dabbled…

The dark web is still awash with criminal activity and a place for information for longtime “contractors” of the dark arts as well as newbie hopefuls, looking to “break-in” to the industry.

We’ll Avoid Embedding Links to the “How To’s” of the Dark Web

It’s a bummer when we hear about toilet thievery of any kind. Do these thieves have a code anymore at all? We do not promote criminal activity of any kind at Poopable. However, the occasional “lifting” of a fresh roll of toilet paper from the workplace because you realized the home bathroom is on empty falls under the guidelines of a pooper’s survival!

Stealing a gold-plated toilet, named, “America,” that was on display for public use… Well, we’re hoping the gallows maybe be on the docket for these anti-poopers. No punishment is enough for ridden the world of this type of joy.

Brady was so distraught by the toilet’s still missing whereabouts, he needed to be put on relaxation leave for a week.

Poopable salutes the hard work of the local police for making some headway in the case. We’re hoping America will be returned soon, so we all can have a chance at a golden respite.

Do you know where America could be? We want to know and so do the authorities! Send us a note or comment below!

By Neil

Neil launched Poopable in 2023, making him the Poo Poo Presidente. After overcoming childhood public restroom anxiety, one of his proudest accomplishments is relieving himself on six continents and over two-dozen countries. His preferred bathroom includes a neutral scent, double ply toilet paper and a strong industrial flush. His trade secret to making any restroom poopable – baby wipes.